The Room of Death
by Amelia Jean Mannequin
Summary: There is a locked room inside the Potter house. Lily does not know what to call it, having never seen the inside. All she knows is that she has heard her father cry within the room, when he is a figure of strength outside. She does not know of the war, and has not seen the numerous photos of the dead lining the walls of the room. She does not know how broken her father is inside.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

I had heard the room called many names. James called it, "The Room of Death," both for dramatic effect and to irritate me. Albus followed Mum's lead and called it "Dad's office." Dad himself, if it ever became necessary for him to mention the room, simply called it, "The Room." I, being the only who had not visited the room, was unsure what to call it.

In my earliest memories, my young self simply pondered the room. The small child named Lily stood outside, confused, whenever she heard her father crying within. She asked her older brother James what was inside the room. He himself looked troubled, still deemed too young to see its contents, and doesn't provide a real answer. Yet within the week, I had heard his voice conversing with Dad inside the office.

Albus too had the chance to visit the mysterious chamber, although he was at a much younger age than James' first visit. Mum says people have a different age at which they can handle something. I asked him what was inside after his visit, but he simply responded, "It's a room where Dad goes where he is not feeling well." I pouted at his response, replying, "Daddy doesn't feel well a lot, doesn't he?" Albus just smiled sadly, promising to play Quidditch with me later.

I still wait for the room to open to me now, at 9 years of age.

Chapter 1

_The feeling came over him suddenly, and his chest tightened with fear and pain. He excused himself from the dinner table, and stumbled to the room. He fumbled for the book given to him so long ago, at the end of his first year. He found solace in his parent's eyes. When the pain was overwhelming, only her eyes could comfort him. When his breathing had slowed and his vision had cleared, he felt her hand on his shoulder. After the matching green eyes met on more time, he allowed her to lead him from the room. By the time he reached his children, a smile was forced on his face once again. _

Today the letters arrived, and I sulked in my room all afternoon. Not only would James be leaving once again for his third year at Hogwarts, but Albus would be leaving me as well. Albus had always been there for me, my rock when Dad was sick, and now all he cared about was school. He was especially concerned over what house he would be in, as his middle name came from a Slytherin. I was unsure as to whom this Severus was, but I knew that Dad held him in high regard.

The only good news to come from the letters was a trip to Diagon Alley this evening. I had been there many times in my life, through the Leaky Caldron and past the beautiful shops. Best of all was a trip to Weasley Wizard Wheezes, Uncle George's joke shop. From what I understand, he used to have an identical twin (although with both his ears) that was his partner in crime, but he died about 20 years ago. My cousin Fred, George's son, was named after the twin.

The shop was amazing. All kinds of bright objects lined the walls, and I was always allowed a birthday gift of my choice from Uncle George. I was building a collection of Muggle Magic Tricks to rival with Granddaddy Weasley.

As we approached the Leaky Caldron, I saw a shock of turquoise hair. I grinned from ear to ear as I sprinted to Teddy Lupin, my Dad's godson. As soon as I reached him I was swinging through the air, and then brought down suddenly as he kissed my cheek. "What are you doing here?" I cried happily. "Gran dropped me off to shop with you guys," he explained with an equal grin. Teddy has lived with his grandma since his parents died, also about 20 years ago. At least once a week he appears in our fireplace for dinner, and he always sits by me to entertain me with his Metamorphic abilities.

Walking into the Leak Caldron, Teddy's hair lit up the room like a beacon, drawing all attention to us. Unfortunately, this meant everyone saw Mum and Dad, and that meant everyone needed to talk to them. As James and Albus unsuccessfully (and quite obviously) tried to eavesdrop, I turned my attention to my godbrother. But to my dismay, he was not behind me. Instead, a different man stood there. While I gaped at the stranger, he gave me a toothless grin and murmured, "Looking for someone?" About to turn for my parents to fend off this creepy man, he suddenly morphed back into a chuckling Teddy. Hitting him playfully, I scolded him, "Aww, Teddy you meanie! I suppose I should have known, because of the eyes." His deep blue eyes gleamed back at me, raising a burning question. "Why do you never change your eyes? It would be so easy, yet you never do it." His smile turned slightly sad, and I instantly regretted my prying. "Well," he began slowly, rubbing his oceanic eyes, "If I was always changing everything about myself, I would have nothing to ground myself with. Nothing to keep me Teddy." He looked as though he was going to say more, but he stopped himself. He was silent until we reached the cobbled street.

I forgot all my regrets regarding the conversation as we walked down the sunny street, shopping at our leisure and stopping numerous times for Mum and Dad to talk to strangers. Each time Albus and James tried to listen in, shushing me for talking to Teddy too loudly.

Each time Mum insisted on buying something for Teddy, or Dad proudly introduced him to an acquaintance, he blushed a bright, bubblegum pink yet looked undeniably happy. I often wondered what happened to his parents, but I was afraid to ask.

As my brothers bought their school supplies, I desperately wished for my own turn to go to school. It was only 2 years away, and it couldn't come soon enough.

Finally reaching the joke shop, my mood soared. As we entered, Auntie Angelina waved brightly at us, and Uncle George immediately appeared at our sides.

"How's my favorite brother-in-law?" George said jovially, clapping Dad on the back. The two embraced, then George, feigning surprise, turned to his sister and proclaimed, "Ah, and it's my lovely sister too. Fancy seeing you here!" They too embraced, and then fell into (yet another) grown-up conversation about how "bloody brilliant" business was. Thankfully, the conversation ended quickly and he turned his attention to my brothers and me.

He gave us an entire tour of the recently renovated shop, including the section with the Muggle tricks. After much hushed debate, James secretly purchased Extendable Ears (to improve his eavesdropping skills), Albus a variety of interesting quills for school, while I held a deck of supposedly "magic" cards.

After purchasing our items, we walked out of the store with little dignity, having been tricked into eating a strange assortment of body-altering candies (James himself had spectacularly turned into a canary) once again. The statue by the door, featuring the late, two-eared twin, laughed at us as we left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I was expecting a specified place to put a disclaimer before Chapter One, but I was unfortunately mistaken. So here it goes:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter, as unfortunate as that is. It belongs to J.K. Rowling. I do not own any of the characters, names of fictional locations, or magical objects employed by the characters. **

Chapter 2

_A week after the eldest was born, he sat quietly in the room. This was a different visit, a time for decisions. A book sat in front of him, showing a boy with a camera. The boy had admired him, and he died for it. She came in and sat across from him, wincing as she looked at the picture of the blonde photographer. "I will bring him here, when he is old enough," the man whispered softly, "Because the other children will know, and he deserves to find out from his father." She nodded her agreement and stood to leave, but as her hand brushed his shoulder as she departed. "He will be proud to have you as his father," she whispered to him. The tears which burned his face were hidden behind his hands. _

Our last stop of the day was to Flourish and Blotts, to but textbooks for the boys. I was promised an early bedtime after asking Mum, "why the bloody 'ell" anyone would want a book called _Standard Book of Spells, _but I was secretly excited to visit the vast bookstore and explore its contents.

As soon as we entered the store, I deeply regretted my comments toward books. No matter how long we had been shopping, I knew I could spend hours here.

James instantly set off to find books by himself, while Albus went out with Mum and Dad. After Teddy saw some friends he wanted to chat with, I was left alone. Walking slowly, I ran my hand along the spines of hundreds of books. After reading the backs of a child's book I had never seen, (how had I missed out on the story of the _Deathly Hallows_ as a child?) I wandered over to a small, crowded table with a sign that read "The Second War." I was curious as to what this war was, but I felt as though I shouldn't be looking at it. Hiding behind another shelf as I waited for the people to clear, I caught the names of a few book titles.

The first I saw was by an author named Rita Skeeter. With a jolt in my stomach, I read the title, "The Man with the Lightning Scar." A picture of my dad was looking back at me from the cover! My heart beating fast, more titles jumped out at me. "Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived" and "A History of Harry Potter." As the last few people cleared away, the book at the front of the table swam into my confused vision. "Harry Potter: A Life of Struggles."

My heart was now jumping at an irregular pace. Had I unlocked Dad's room without knowing it? Could the answer to all my questions be right before me? What were Dad's "struggles" that hurt him so much? And a new question, which I had never given thought to before: _Where did Daddy's scar come from?_ I grabbed "A Life of Struggles" and settled into a nearby corner. I knew my time was running out, and I could not let my parents know I had seen the table. Flipping through the pages at random, words jumped out at me. "Voldemort" appeared quite often, as did the name "Dumbledore." It seemed that Dumbledore, an old headmaster at Hogwarts, had been rather close to my Father. Suddenly, a sentence jumped out at me. I reread the sentence several times, to make sure I understood it correctly. "Severus Snape, who had been Potions Master and head of Slytherin at the time, murdered Albus Dumbledore on top of the Astronomy Tower during Harry's 6th and final year at Hogwarts," I whispered to myself. My brother…my brother was named for this man, Dumbledore, and the man who killed him!

I blinked several times and shut the book. Surely I did not understand properly. Dad must know something that the author didn't know. I must have misunderstood.

I opened the book again to an earlier passage. This paragraph troubled me as well, and I was forced to reread once again, whispering aloud in the hope that its meaning would murmur back, clearing my confusion. "We all know how it began. On Halloween night, 1981, Lord Voldemort set out to kill Lily and James Potter, at the height of his power." My stomach flipped at my brother's and my names, but it only got stranger. "After killing both of Harry's parents with the killing curse, he moved onto the baby Harry. (Let it be known that the details of Voldemort's motives and the following actions were rumored to be known only by Dumbledore and Mr. Potter himself, neither available for comment.) Somehow, as he attempted to kill Harry, his essence shattered. He was not seen for many years." I desperately wanted to keep reading, but I heard Dad calling for me. Quickly replacing the book on the shelf, I sought to distance myself from it before my parents found me. Despite this, I saw a shadow cross his face as he saw the table. "Lily, come," he said quietly. I followed him quickly and did not look back.

**Author's Note once again: I know these first two chapters have been rather short, but I promise they will be longer as the story progresses. In my defense, they look much longer on notebook paper with large handwriting. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: To answer the question in the reviews, I am not sure what the exact length of the story will be. At least 10 chapters, but no more than 30, would be my guess. Thank you for the review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this world. Unfortunately. **

Chapter 3

_On the 5__th__ anniversary of his death, she came over for dinner. He remembered how she had talked to him after the fall, how she had wanted information. Later that night, he took her by the arm and led her to his office. She looked at the books, looked at his picture of the wall. Her eyes were as wet as his. "Minerva," he whispered. She avoided his eyes. "How much did you know, at the time?" She sighed. "Not much," came the whisper. "How much do you know now?" Her gaze was steady as she looked at him. "Enough." _

I quietly pushed my dinner around my plate that evening, feeling Mum's gaze on me. "What's wrong dear?" She asked, concerned. I shook my head, thinking of everything that was wrong. Finally, I picked a safe question to ask.

"Where did Albus' name come from?" Mum and Dad glanced at each other nervously, but I continued.

"'Cause, I mean, Lily and James are normal, common names," I noted Dad's wince curiously, "But I haven't heard a name like Albus before." Albus himself gave me a worried look, shaking his head. But it was too late now.

Mum opened her mouth to answer, but Dad jumped in.

"When I was at Hogwarts, the headmaster was named Albus Dumbledore. He became a rather good friend of mine when I was older, but he unfortunately passed away." He glanced at Mom. "Your mother and I saw it fit to name one of our children after him."

"Oh," I murmured, returning to my dinner. My family stared at me with interest.

After supper, I quietly retreated to my room. Lying on my bed, I attempted to process everything I had learned that day. It proved impossible. There was one fact I couldn't get around, that made the whole thing confusing.

My Dad wasn't famous.

Despite being one of the Ministry's best Aurors, a dark wizard catcher, with my Uncle Ron, he wasn't famous enough to have a book about his childhood.

The door opened as Mum slipped in. "You know," she said with a smile, "When I said you had to go to bed early, I didn't mean _this_ early."

She came over and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Something on your mind honey?"

"Mum…" I started, sitting up slowly. I wanted to stay calm, but a burning question escaped my mouth angrily before I could stop it.

"Why does Dad need that dumb room anyway? Why does he have to hide things from us?"

For a moment, her strong face broke, before she quickly regained her composure. Her eyes teary, she pulled me into her lap and rocked me gently. Quietly, she spoke into my hair, making me wonder if I was supposed to hear it. It sounded as though it was a thought, accidentally voiced. "The weight of the world is a lot to bear. Everyone needs a break sometime." She rocked me until I fell asleep in her arms. What seemed like only a few moments later, Dad burst into the room, followed by Albus and James. The two boys were pulling on coats.

"Ginny, Lily, get ready quickly."

"What is it Harry?" Mum replied, alarmed.

"It's Minerva," he said grimly.

Within 5 minutes we were spinning through fireplaces, traveling by the Floo Network.

We arrived at St. Mungo's, the wizarding hospital, moments later. Hundreds of other people were flooding in around us, all of them, as it appeared, coming to pay last respects to Minerva McGonagall. I knew that she used to be head of Gryffindor house, the house my whole family was in. I was not aware that she seemed to have hundreds of friends!

As we waited in a long line outside her room, Dad explained that he had received a letter from Pomona Sprout, his old Herbology teacher who was living with the elderly McGonagall. She had fallen ill, and had very little time left. On the list of people she needed to see before her death, my parents' names were present.

Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione appeared soon, with our cousins Rose (Albus' age) and Hugo (my age) in tow. We waited by each other while the adults talked in low voices, with worried faces. Every once and a while another person in the long line would join in the discussion.

A slight commotion was made as Hagrid made his way down the hallway. The whole family smiled in spite of themselves.

Hagrid, the game keeper and Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts, was very good friends with my family. From what I understood, he had been the one to bring my father his letter (I was unsure as to why, but it my father grew up with Muggles). He was a great man, and he visited often. Hagrid also happened to be a half giant.

After each of us hugged him (although his wide arms could have hugged all of us at once) he talked with the adults for a few minute. Then he bent down to talk to the children.

"How are all of you doing?" He asked us, his black eyes crinkling behind his wild hair. "Good," we all chimed together, making him smile. "New school year a 'coming. I believe it's you two joinin' us next year?" He said, smiling at Albus and Rose. The two nodded in reply, grinning nervously. With a sad expression, he continued, "I s'pose you know what's going on here? It's a right shame. She is a good woman, and Hogwarts hasn't been the same without her, or Pomona. Great woman, McGonagall. Just like Dumbledore." I being the only one who did not know the story of my father and the room by now, (I discovered long ago that Rose and Hugo were in on the secret) I did not smile as the rest of the children did at his name. I wanted the truth. I was about to demand it from Hagrid, but became our turn to visit the elderly professor. Pushing my temper down, I entered the room behind my family. Hagrid gave me once last smile before the door closed.

The four adults crowded around the bed, Dad and Ron on one side, Mom and Hermione on the other, while the kids awkwardly waited across the room. I did not like the room. It smelled like death. All the same, I took up my role as a child and struggled to listen to the conversation.

"Professor," Hermione whispered, tears in her eyes, "Thank you." The old woman smiled and murmured something, and the adults moved closer to hear.

"Potter," she whispered a smile on her lips. The rest was too quiet to hear.

"It's okay now. It will be over soon. Then you can see him. You can see…everyone." His voice broke bitterly on the last word, and she grabbed his wrist.

"Harry," she said, her voice weak but stern, "They all died, to give you life. Don't let their sacrifices," a loud cough overtook her, "Be in vain. Live your life, and make sure those kids know how…bloody lucky they are." Dad's face was strained, not even breaking under her rough language usage. The conversation turned to murmurs once again. Finally, we heard, "I just wish I could see castle…one more time." Dad knelt beside her bed and said strongly, "I'll take you. I can stay while the line clears, then I will take you back. I promise." "Thank you," came the hoarse whisper.

Mom and Dad conversed quietly for a moment, and the rest of our family departed. Dad stayed behind. As we left the room, Hagrid entered with a loud sniff.

I did not fall asleep that night until I heard my father come home safely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Sorry for the random "CHAPTER4 's" in the middle of the chapter. It was the only method of drawing a line, to show that gap in time, which was withheld in posting the story. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine… **

Chapter 4

_In the weeks that had followed the final battle, he had felt both elated and crushed. His enemy was gone, his friends finally safe. He stayed at the tall, crooked, wonderful building that was home as much as the castle. But the sadness overwhelmed him too often, threatening to overtake him. He awoke every night, frightened by the faces of the dead. One night he laid in the garden, shaking with anger over the memory of a particular death, and the murderer who caused it. His hands shook, the sobs slashed through his body. He felt a hand on his shoulder and knew it was her, the killer of that murderer. She whispered to him, "It's okay dear. Come back to us. She's gone now. She won't hurt anyone anymore." From that point on, things had gotten better. Until it got worse. _

Daddy didn't mention that evening again. A few nights later Rose and Hugo came over, and Teddy came to babysit. The adults all left in black.

Teddy tried to make the evening fun for us, but we knew what had happened. We all knew she had died.

Minerva McGonagall, or Professor McGonagall, as we were told to call her, had come to our house several times for dinner. She always came around the same time of year, late spring, and she always visited Dad in his study upon this visit. She was a good lady, always very kind to me. I was very sad about her death, and I could tell the others were too.

I was worried about her death too, worried what it would do to my father. He had been so fragile lately, visiting the Room multiple times a day. Whatever sickness he fought within the room, it was winning. Could her death send him over the edge?

As the evening grew old, so did Teddy's Metamorphsing. When Teddy left to go to the bathroom, James leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "I'm going into the Room. Do you want to come?" I nodded slowly, my heart beating fast as I avoided Al's suspicious glare. "Follow my lead," came the order.

When Teddy returned, James stood and feigned extreme, sudden tiredness. The exaggerated yawn and stretch was a little overdone, but I think Teddy bought it. "I think I had better go to bed," James declared, with a wink at me. I stood. "Me too!" Albus' glower almost caused me to sit down, abandon the plan, but I was too curious.

As I headed down the hallway with my eldest brother, I felt my excitement mounting. I could finally understand what was wrong with my dad, and then I could help him get better!

But when we got to the room, my purpose became clear.

"Oh wait! You've never been to the Room!" James whispered in mock realization. "You can't come in then. Just wait out here as lookout, and whistle if someone comes!" I tried to stop him, but it was too late. I debated over whether or not I should tattle on him to Teddy, but my curiosity won the argument. A few moments later, James returned with a worn piece of parchment in hand. My mouth dropped open, forming a perfect circle.

"You STOLE," I whispered-shouted, before his hand clamped over my mouth. "Someone's coming," he murmured back. I listened, but heard not footsteps. My glare did little to affect him. I brushed my teeth quickly, then we re-entered to say "goodnight" to our cousins. Albus shot me a reproachful look. I gave him a grim smile, then went to my room.

CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4

When I entered my bedroom, I quickly realized another downside to following along with James' plan. I was now stuck in my room by myself, and while I was beginning to get bored in my cousin's company, it was better than being alone. I still had a few hours to kill before I would be able to fall asleep.

Wandering the small room, a bright yellow book sticking out of my bed caught my eye. It was my old diary, which I had written in for several years before outgrowing it. I had forgotten it was hiding under the mattress… it must have resurfaced when I was making my bed that morning.

I flipped it open to the first page, wondering what my 7-year-old mind had been thinking as I inked the pages.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was bad day for Daddy. He did not go to work. He hid inside his study all day long. Mum said he is sick right now. James told me to leave him alone. Albus just hugged me. None of them understand that what I really want is for my DAD to hug me. Tell me that he is okay. Everything had been going fine here, why did he have to get sick again?_

Stomach churning slightly, I read more entries.

_Dear Diary,_

_It took a few days, but things got better. At first, Dad wouldn't leave the room for hours at a time. Then people started coming, first Ron and Hermione, then Grandma and Granddaddy. He emerged for a while after that, even smiled a few times. Finally, Luna came. After spending a long time with Dad in his study, it seemed that she had fixed him. I think everything will be fine for a while now. _

_Dear Diary,_

_Dad has been better for a week now, going to work and acting normal. But today, something horrible happened. I walked past my parent's room to hear sobbing, a horrible kind of moan. It was my Mum. It was today I realized how strong she was, how she stayed calm for Dad. But it must be hard for her. I wonder if Daddy knows that she hurts too. I hope my parents never get sick at the same time. It would make life here unbearable. _

Most of the diary was like that, with a bad spell for Dad, followed by a short break of ordinary life. One entry, later into the book, was particularly chilling.

_Dear Diary,_

_Dad spent today in his study. The house was eerily quiet. Dad did not cry, or make any kind of noise whatsoever. Around midafternoon, Mum went to the study. She knocked on the door, but he did not answer. She tried opening it by hand, but it was locked. Finally, she took her wand and opened it magically. My brothers and I peeked around the corner, trying to see what was going on. Dad just sat there, staring off into space. His face was a mask of grief, staring at some unknown horror. Mum shook him gently, but he did not respond. He seemed to be in shock. Seeing us children in the doorway, she gently shut the door. We did not argue. We heard her, quietly speaking to him in gentle tones. After a long hour, he started to cry softly. Then he apologized, over and over again. He apologized for failing his family, and for letting "them" die. I was confused and scared. Eventually I left the hallway, not wanting to listen anymore. My brothers followed me. He came to dinner but did not speak a word. I want Daddy to get better. _

Goose pimples crawled up my arms. I had forgotten about that day, shoved it into the back of my memories. What if McGonagall's death sent him into that state again, permanently? I was on the verge of tears when Albus entered my room.

"Lily, you shouldn't have gone into the room," Albus said in a low voice.

It was this unfair criticism that sent me over the edge. Hot tears spilled down my face as I replied, "You should know very well that he didn't let me in the room! I had to be his bloody lookout!"

Al rushed over and pulled me into his arms. "Shh…it's okay Lily bear. What's wrong?" I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "It's just…nothing. Did he find anything on the paper?" I asked, knowing he would have gone to reprimand James as well. "Nope. It seems to be just a blank piece of parchment. But he's convinced Dad left it out for him to find."

Albus looked very tired as he rubbed his own eyes. "Listen Lily," he said suddenly, "Just…let Dad show you the Room when he is ready." With a sigh, I replied, "Well, what's taking so long?" He paused. "You're his baby. Be patient." He left the room, turning the light out behind him.

CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER4

_A foggy room with undistinguishable features. A strange, light clean feeling. A voice called out behind me, warm like my brother's. "Lily," it said, "Your time is coming, very soon. But it's not quite here yet. Be patient." I started to turn to find the source of the voice, but with a soft click it all disappeared. _

_Click._

The lock on my door slid open with a click, and James crept into my room, pocketing a bobby pin sheepishly. After a moment, Al followed him with another worried expression.

James' grin spread from ear to ear. Spreading the old parchment across my desk, he happily whispered, "I got it figured out, Lily!"

As he pulled his wand out of his pocket, he gave us a guilty look. Albus and I gasped as he tapped the parchment, murmuring some sort of incantation. It was summer, he wasn't allowed to do magic.

"James…"

"Look," he breathed.

Ink ran across the pages like spider webs, forming patterns, pictures, letters, and words.

_The Marauder's Map._

It was a map of Hogwarts. It seemed to show every room of the castle I had never seen. A closer look showed secret passageways, and _people. _Hagrid walked across the lawn. Neville, or Professor Longbottom, as I was supposed to address him, was in the greenhouses. The map breathed with life.

We spent a long time examining the map, James giving us a sort of tour of the school. When the boys finally stood up to leave, Albus put his hand on James' arm.

"How did you figure out how to work it?"

James' eyes danced with happiness, alight with a kind of excited fervor. "The map told me," he whispered, "It said that one of the writer's is my grandfather, my Grandfather Potter!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I am writing another fanfic, if you are interested in checking it out. It is called "I am pleased to inform you." It is short collection of the thoughts Harry's future classmates, the remaining Marauders, and Hogwarts staff as the Boy Who Lived enters the magical world. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter! Sorry again for the random CHAPTER 5 words across the middle, just pretend it is a line! **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine!**

Chapter 5

_He could still see it inside his head. The long wait with her papery hand in his. Then, him leading her from the room to Disapparate, her frail body shaking. The long walk toward the building. He had contacted the headmaster; the gate was unlocked for them. They stood, surveying the building. "It's so…beautiful," came the wheezing whisper. She swayed as her eyes slid out of focus. Grabbing her arm, he saw what she saw. Her own first day at Hogwarts, and her sorting. Her school years flashed by. Her days of teaching, and the day he himself arrived. The body, lying at the foot of the Astronomy Tower. This image lingered longer. That awful year, preceding the Battle of Hogwarts. He saw his own body, apparently dead in Hagrid's arms. He felt the same crushing sadness she had felt in that moment. He saw the red eyes. It all faded out, and her eyes refocused slightly. "He knew all along, didn't he? He knew how everything was going to end." These were the last words she spoke, leaving him again with the image of the Astronomy Tower. _

I awoke, shivering from my haunting dreams. Every night, it seemed, I had a horrid nightmare about my father. But it was always thankfully interrupted by that foggy white place, where I could hear faint whispers and felt nothing but anticipation.

I also was filled with a feeling of dread. Tomorrow, the Hogwarts Express would take my brothers away, along with most of my cousins.

I spent the morning in Al's room, as he frantically repacked all of his belongings. As I sat on his bed, talking to him, I was aware that this would be my last face to face conversation with him until Christmas.

He told me about all of his concerns for school again. He worried he wouldn't make friends (which was ridiculous, as many of his classmates would be his cousins) and that he would get lost (also ridiculous, he had studied every inch of the Marauder's Map). The only thing he didn't mention again was his House. This was clearly bothering him, but he was afraid to say it.

"Hey, Al?" I said, after a moment of silence.

"Hey what?" came the response from within his trunk.

"What's the big deal with being a Slytherin anyway?"

Albus walked over and sat next to me on the bed.

"Remember the Malfoy family, from Platform 9 ¾ last year? They are all Slytherins. Usually, they are just not nice people. And…a lot of evil people came from that House," he finished darkly. I nodded, even though I wasn't sure who the Malfoys were.

"I'm sure you'll be in Gryffindor," I assured him, and he beamed.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Then the sniffles started.

"You'll write to me, promise?"

Albus grinned and hugged me.

"Of course, Lily bear. I will think of you every single day."

My tears ran quietly into his shirt.

CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5

That afternoon I sat in James' room as he gathered his scattered, unpacked belongings. He told me about his friends, the new classes he was taking for his third year, and his enemies he hoped to embarrass. As he talked and packed, I examined the map, which lay open on his bed. Here was the place where I would soon go to school…

As James continued talking, I squinted at a spot near the lake. It was marked as _the gravesite of Albus Dumbledore. _I shivered and looked away.

"So one day he just gets up and leaves his body behind! He became a ghost! And yet, he still teaches the most boring subject ever."

I laughed and gave my brother a hug. After promises to send me sweets he nicked from the kitchens, he paused and held my shoulders firmly. "Take care of Dad, okay Lily bear?" Make sure he's all right." I nodded, we had an unspoken understanding. Dad has spent lots of time in the Room these days.

We heard the door slam, signifying Dad's arrival home from work. The two of us raced down the stairs to embrace him, leaving the unpacked trunk behind.

CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5

All the Weasleys came over that night, as well as Teddy and my godmother Luna. It was an enjoyable affair as we celebrated the end of summer. We all chatted happily as we ate, and Hugo and I debated over our own future Hogwarts issues. I noticed that Teddy, now that he has graduated school, was trying to act all grown up. He discussed boring politics with the adults and did not change his hair color once. I stuck my tongue out at him as he glanced at me. He responded by changing his nose into a pig nose. I giggled, but still was upset at his sudden adulthood.

Dad told us all proudly that Teddy was training to be an Auror, just like his mother had been. At the mention of his mother, everyone smiled sadly.

"To good ol' Tonks and Remus!" George declared, raising his glass. Teddy blushed slightly.

Everyone toasted the unknown people, who must have been Teddy's parents.

"To Dobby, a free elf," Luna added dreamily. "The most free elf to ever live," Hermione said fiercely.

"To Albus and Rose, Hogwarts' newest students!" Ginny said proudly.

"Any may Harry never name any children ever again!" Ron quipped.

"To Fred, the first and second!" Angelina said, with a trace of sadness. "'Ear, 'ear!" George responded, causing the corners of Dad's mouth twitched.

"To Minerva!" Grandma declared.

"To Severus Snape," Dad said somberly. Many people twitched at this, myself included.

After many more toasts, which became progressively more slurred, Mum and Hermione declared that it was time for bed. "Everyone needs to be up early tomorrow!" Grandma agreed.

As my many, many cousins left, I brushed my teeth sadly. Tomorrow, everything would change.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: This chapter takes place at King's Cross. It is the same scene as the epilogue, but as seen from Lily's perspective. As dearly as I want to leave the dialogue in its original form, I will have to change the words slightly to comply with website policy. So don't report me for copyright, the text is different! If it irritates anyone as much as it irritates me, I apologize! I don't want to risk losing my story. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I do not own the epilogue of the final book!**

Chapter 6

_He loved his family very much. But he was still haunted by demons within him. Whenever he said their secondhand names, or looked into his son's bright eyes, he felt a pang of sadness. The Room was his place to let his sorrowful emotions out, but it did not heal him entirely. The lives of those lost still lay heavily on his soul. He may have saved the world, but his broken heart felt damaged beyond repair. In his dreams, he returned to the surreal station again and again. He had the option of boarding the train. But instead, he had chosen life. Hadn't he?_

It was a bright, sunny autumn day. The sun was shining, the leaves had all turned, and the air seemed crisp and fresh. Some might call it a perfect day. But it wasn't perfect to me. I was already teary-eyed as we entered King's Cross, my excited brothers leading the way.

"It won't be long, and you will be going too," Daddy told me.

"Two years! But I want to go now!" I sniffled. I felt like a baby, but I could not control my tears.

Muggles stared at us as we walked along, on account of Al's and James' owls. Al had just received his that morning, as a parting gift. Jet black with pale, orb-like eyes, Dad had recommended the name Moony.

James' voice carried back to us, he was terrorizing Albus about his future House once again. "I…I won't be in Slytherin!" Albus cried desperately. As Mum went to split them up, lightly reprimanding James, Daddy squeezed my hand. "Looks like you're the only one left at home, Lil," he said. His eyes looked sad, as usual. But there was another emotion there too. He was proud to have Al going to school, just as he was proud of Teddy for being finished with school. "You kids grow up too fast!" His sad smile hurt my heart.

Mum fell back with us as James picked up speed, approaching the barrier. The moment he disappeared, Albus rounded on us. "You will write to me, won't you?" He demanded. I could see the distress in his bright green eyes. "Every day, if you want," Mum replied. Albus quickly frowned and responded, "No, not every day. James said most people only get letters about once a month from home." _Oh, like you suddenly care_, I thought crossly to him.

With a smile, Mum retorted, "We wrote to him three times a week last year."

"Don't you believe everything your brother tells you about Hogwarts. He likes a laugh," Dad added.

With that being said, the four of us walked through the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10, arriving on 9 ¾. I saw Albus wince, despite having entered the platform numerous times before.

"Where…where are they?" asked a concerned Albus, searching for our cousins. "We'll find them soon," Mum reassured, as we walked through a thick cloud of vapor. I heard Uncle Percy, discussing his boring work loudly. I was worried we would have to stop, but Mum pulled me along with a slight smile.

"I think that is them, Al," Mum said abruptly.

"Hi!" Albus called to Rose, in her new robes. As well approached, the rest of her family appeared as well. Ron and Dad talked about Muggles and their driving, and I gravitated toward Hugo.

"We have to be Gryffindors!" Hugo exclaimed immediately, "The whole family is!" To this I quietly replied, "What if we aren't brave enough?" My cousin frowned, understanding that I was worried. "The other Houses wouldn't be too bad. As long as we aren't Slytherins."

Uncle Ron made a joke about being us possibly being Slytherins, but I was secretly troubled. I wasn't very brave. If I was, I would certainly be able to help Dad.

"Look who it is, over there," Ron muttered, interrupting my thoughts. I stared curiously at the family a few meters away. Judging by the adults' expressions, I figured they were the Malfoy family. The father nodded briskly to us before turning away. I felt a twinge of annoyance at his rudeness. Everywhere we went, people talked to my parents. Why didn't he?

As Ron and Hermione affectionately bickered with one another, I wondered to myself about the Houses. _Is this how all Slytherins act? Could I be one? Was Albus right to worry so much? What if I become a Slytherin and turn evil? _Isighed; Albus and his anxiety were rubbing off on me.

James reappeared with a cry of, "Hey!" He ran over, clearly ready to give us big news. "Teddy is back there," he said excitedly, as I looked around curiously, "I've just seen him! And guess what he was doing! Snogging Victorie!" He grinned, thinking he would get Teddy in trouble somehow. To his obvious disappointment, the adults grinned back. With a frown, he continued.

"Our Teddy, our Teddy Lupin! Snogging our cousin! Our cousin Victorie! I asked Teddy what he was doing –"

Mum interjected, "You interrupted them? You are so like your Uncle Ron –"

"–and he said he had come to see her off! Then he told me to go away! He was snogging her!" James finished, clearly horrified.

"Oh, it would be lovely if they were married," I whispered thoughtfully.

"Teddy would really be a part of the family then!" Al added.

"He already comes around for dinner several times a week," Dad said, "Why don't we just invite him to move in and be done with it?"

"Yeah! I don't mind sharing with Al – Teddy could move into my room!" James stated happily.

With a chuckle, Dad argued against the notion of my brothers sharing a room. As he checked his watch, I felt my eyes fill once again. I choked down a sob. "Give Neville out love!" Mum told the boys as she hugged him. "Mum! I can't give a professor your _love_!" James replied, looking mock disturbed, yet rolling his eyes. As he explained how that would be socially improper to Mum, Al winked at me. I knew he would pass on the message. James directed a kick at him, and then took his last opportunity to terrorize him before school began. I tuned it out, spinning slowly as I looked at the people on the platform. We were receiving several stares from the other people on the platform…

As James bounded onto the train without a look back, Dad quietly talked to Albus, reassuring him in a way that he alone could. I tried not to listen, but my ears caught his name. "Albus Severus," Dad said quietly. I shuddered once again, wishing it was my time to understand. I turned to wave to my cousins with Mum, blocking out Dad's words.

I felt arms around me as Albus gave me one last fleeting hug. "Take care of him," he whispered, jumping onto the train. Mum shut the door behind him. Hanging out the window with Rose, he looked about the platform. "Why is everyone staring?" he demanded, almost defensively.

"Don't let it bother you. It's me. I am extremely famous," Ron said, with a grin toward my Dad. Dad wasn't listening though; he was slowly following the train as it pulled from the station. Albus smiled back at us, waving with Rose. As they turned the bend, Dad waved, then returned to us. "He will be fine," Mum murmured comfortingly. Dad nodded, rubbing his scarred forehead slightly.

"I know. He will."

I walked back through the platform with my remaining family, everyone much older and taller than me now. I felt someone grab my hand, and saw Teddy smile down at me. I squeezed his hand gently.

I felt uneasy as we walked through the station. Something had changed as the train pulled out of the station. There were bad times ahead for my Dad…


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! Not only has it been a busy few weeks, but this is one of the longest chapters so far. As a warning, I start school in mid-August, and it will be harder to update during the year. I am going to try to finish the story by…Christmas, shall we say? Hopefully earlier! I will be as faithful as I can during the coming months. Don't give up on me! Thank you to the new subscribers and reviewers. And sorry for the "CHAPTER 7" time separator! **

**Disclaimer: Same as before. Harry Potter does not belong to me, he belongs to JK Rowling. Happy late birthday to Harry and Jo! This was intended to be posted on your special day.**

Chapter 7

_It was getting worse again, and he knew it. It was growing, eating him from within. It had not been this bad since the first year following the battle. He didn't want to live in this manner. He wanted to move on, to recover. Most of all, he wanted to forget. Not the memories, but the pain. And the constant ache in his heart. Fighting it became a daily struggle, but he tried to hide it from his family. They didn't need to see how broken he was. Work should have been a regular distraction, but even the building held memories. Miles away from his office, the veil called to him in an alluring whisper. He tried to ignore it. But it never ceased. He fought the pain, but it fought back. _

As I woke with a start, a realization hit me. _I had made it through the night without a nightmare._ Instead, I had been in the foggy white room the entire night. I had waited, certain someone was going to appear to speak with me. Yet nobody had. The anticipation was killing me! _What was the purpose of the room? Why was I there so often in my dreams? Who had spoken to me the first time, and when was he or she coming?_

I frowned as I thought back to the first dream, when I had heard the voice. _He_, I corrected myself. The voice had definitely been male, and seemed vaguely familiar somehow, although at the same time I was certain I had never heard it before.

I was thankful for the strange dream, as it interrupted my horrid nightmares. Although I could not recognize the room through the strange fog, it was soft and warm. It felt safe. It was all very odd.

As I sat pondering the dream, and the mysterious voice, another realization hit me. My brothers were gone. I wouldn't see them again until Christmas. I sniffled, feeling more alone than I ever had before.

CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7

After a morning of sulking around the house, I ate my lunch in silence. Mum had tried to cheer me up since the moment I stomped into the kitchen, but had eventually admitted defeat. I was stubbornly determined to mope.

Just as I rinsed my dishes, an owl flew in through the open window. I was shocked to see the inky black bird. "Moony!" I cried happily, running forward to seize the letter. Mum beat me to it, opening it and scanning it quickly. "He's a Gryffindor!" She cried, clearly pleased. I realized she had been as worried as Al himself had been. As she continued to read the letter with a smile, she pulled out another parchment and handed it to me. "This one is for you," she said with a glance.

Hands shaking slightly, I opened the letter. I had a fair guess as to what it would say.

_Dear Lily, _

_James and I are writing this on the train, to give you some advice for your time at home without us. I will send it after we arrive at Hogwarts. _

_First off- be especially nice to Mum. She does a lot for Dad and our family, far more than you realize. It has been a stressful time for her. Do not bother her about the Room._

_Speaking of Dad, be careful around him. Don't do anything to upset him further, like pestering him about the room. As you may have noticed, he has been under a lot of stress and hasn't felt very well as of late. Do not try to break into the room, like your foolish older brother. He will show you when you are ready. _

_I didn't mean to accuse you in this letter; I just wanted to give you that advice. On a brighter note, enjoy your time as an only child! Only two years of this independence and you will be joining us too. Then the Potter/Weasley family will rule the school! Until then, you are free of your obnoxious brothers._

_I will write home as often as I can. Remember what I said about Dad. It may seem bad now, but if will get better. And remember, your time is coming soon!_

_Love,_

_Al_

_P.S._

_Hey Lil!_

_For the most part I agree with Al, but don't forget to have a little fun in life too. Don't be such a worry wart like our brother. After all, we call it Hogwarts, not Worrywarts! I'll write to you and tell you all the dumb things Al does that he won't admit! Haha. See you at Christmas!_

_-James (the foolish older brother)_

I read the letter three times, smiling at my brothers' words. I would miss them so much. But they were right; I had only these two years to myself.

Al had said, "Your time is coming soon." It gave me the chills, reminding me of the dream voice.

After reading the other letter, to Mum and Dad, I went up to my room and slid my letter under my pillow. It was time to be strong. I was an only child now.

CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7

Relieved to see I was no longer moping, Mum spent half an hour going over the school plan for the year. Despite the fact that we were all certain to be accepted into Hogwarts, Aunt Hermione made all the Weasley and Potter children go through a Muggle schooling program. She insisted that Muggle born children had to endure elementary schooling, so we should too. James always complained about it, but Al secretly explained to me how important it was. We had to know how to read, after all.

Following the long explanation, Mum winked at me and said, "That's been enough school work for one day." We spent the rest of the afternoon playing Quidditch. Although Godric's Hollow is a mostly wizarding community, we still had to be careful. I saw Mum point her wand through the hedges twice, mumbling something to ward off Muggles.

It was only later in the evening that I realized how long the year ahead would be without my brothers. I loved my Mother, but there were only so many times a week we could play one-on-one Quidditch. As I lay on the couch, hanging over the side and contemplating how to create a telepathic link to Al, Dad came home. From my upside-down view of him, framed in the doorway, he looked horrible. It truly scared me. His eyes were dark and wet, his expression haunted. Mum rushed into the room and, upon seeing his face, pulled him into the hall cupboard and shut the door. Their voices were low and pained.

The door opened a few minutes later as Dad practically ran to his Room. Mum gave me a grim smile and went to make dinner.

The opportunity was too great to resist… Ignoring my brother's recent warning, I sneaked down the hallway and crouched outside the door.

The sobs seeping under the door were heart-wrenching. He seemed to be repeating a constant stream of words, which sounded like names. Saying each one seemed to cause him great pain, as if each word was tearing through him. The names circled around, confusing me. When I heard him say, "Mum…Dad…" I remembered what James said, about the map's writer being Granddad Potter. I longed to return to Flourish and Blotts, to read the truth about my father that he was so determined to keep hidden from me.

_My Daddy is very sick._ I sat outside the room, thinking about this for a long time, listening to the sobs inside slowly die.

Too late, I realized my mistake. As the door to the room was wrenched open, my father practically falling out as if to escape, I had no time to hide. My face burned with shame. I was afraid of his anger; I knew he would be simply furious.

Instead, he sat down with a sigh.

A new kind of sadness filled his eyes as he slid next to me, looking worn and old.

After a time, he spoke.

"Your mother is so strong."

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap and tucking my head under his chin. More words were spoken, but into my hair, so I was not sure if I was meant to hear him.

"So strong to deal with me. With the pain and nightmares. She deserves better than me… You all do. Someday, you will understand. But for today… you are my last baby. You are all I have left. So young… and so innocent. "

I squirmed around to look at him. His eyes were closed, a few glittery tears sliding out from underneath his lids. "Daddy…" I whispered. He shook his head, then stood up with me still in his arms. He carried me to the kitchen so that we could help Mum with dinner.

CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7

Throughout preparation for dinner, and dinner itself, Dad acted unconditionally cheerful. Although it was somewhat forced at times, it made me happy to see my Dad smiling so much. Thinking of what he murmured into my hair, I knew he was trying hard to make up for his earlier breakdown.

Mum and Dad were very affectionate with one another, which was gross. But in a weird way, it made me feel happy. Like my Dad was finally getting better.

CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 7

Later that night, Dad walked into his office with steady steps. Within a few moments, he emerged with a large, leather-bound book. He sat heavily on the couch and called me over. I practically ran, eager to see the treasure from the forbidden room.

He opened the book without a word, and we both stared at the first page. There was a picture of a happy young couple.

I was immediately confused. They looked a lot like my mom and dad, but with their eyes switched. And Daddy didn't have his scar…

"Are they…?"

"Your Potter grandparents. Yes."

His eyes looked strange. Happy and sad at the same time. I stared at the lady in the picture. Her eyes were the same as my Dad's, and Al's.

With my new knowledge of the original Lily and James, the namesakes of my eldest brother and I, my curiosity over Albus Dumbledore increased.

As we continued through the book, he obviously skipped some pages. It was as if he had memorized the book by heart, and was purposely avoiding some photos. On one page, I saw a flash of a wedding picture. A dark haired man waved at me before it vanished in the whirl of the pages. I was only meant to see my grandparents.

Mum came behind us at one point and leaned over the back of the couch, quietly watching the pictures slide by. The book was clearly viewed often, judging by the thinning pages and Mum's reactions to the pictures, which came too quickly. I could hear her sighs and smiles behind me at each page turn.

The last picture was the only one I saw that showed someone besides the late Lily and James. It showed the couple with a baby boy, clearly a newborn. Although I knew better than to ask about my grandparent's fate, my nosiness crashed through here.

"Did you used to have a brother, Daddy? Because that baby looks like you, but he doesn't have your scar."

"That is your father," Mum said gently, "And a story for another day."

As my wonderful parents tucked me in later, I hoped that I had not said anything to ruin the enjoyable evening. But for the first time in a week, I did not hear Dad go into the Room before I fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: I start school next week and will be very busy when classes start. I hope to get at least one more chapter up before then. Please don't give up on me! I want to finish this as much as you (hopefully) do. In the meantime, I have written a one-shot called "Scars Run Deep," featuring Draco and Astoria. Please check it out if you get the chance. **

**Disclaimer: We all wish we could own Harry Potter, but only J.K. Rowling gets that pleasure.**

Chapter 8

_He suffered a serious meltdown at work, and worried he would give himself up to the veil at last. But he fought it, clenching his teeth as a barrier to the pain. Fighting the pain was like fighting a dementor. You had to face some unpleasant thoughts if you were going to refuse to give in. He was troubled; he worried that he hadn't confronted the source of his pain. Yet he was apprehensive for the moment when he would have to. He went home, practically sprinted to the Room, the hurt bubbling in his stomach. Looking around at the faces of those he loved, he took a deep breath. It felt as though the world was listening. "He is the reason you all are dead. I hated him, hated him with a passion to match my love for all of you. But fighting him…fighting him was my purpose in life. Now, what do I have left?" The eyes that watched him were painted, but he could feel their spirits in the room too. "More of my friends and family are dead than alive," he finished in a whisper. He felt the eyes of the most recent added picture watching him closely, trying to remind him of her last message through her painted eyes. "Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone on. If I would rather be with you." The vividly blue eyes seemed to peer into his soul as he curled into a ball on the floor. As he murmured their names painfully, he heard footsteps outside the door. He found that he did not care who heard anymore. _

I awoke from a yet another haunting nightmare, shaking with fear as I slowly sat up. Dad had been in his Room…he was hurt somehow…some kind of veil…I found the details fading too quickly, slipping through my fingers like the memory was liquid.

As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I was struck with a sudden realization. _I was not in my bedroom._ I stood upright quickly and observed my strange surroundings. It was the foggy white room that often interrupted my nightmares…yet something was different. While I normally felt like a visitor, seeing the room within my head, I felt more grounded this time.

As if I was really there.

Looking around again, I gathered what I knew.

I was in this strange room, perhaps physically, for the first time.

I was wearing a simple, white cotton nightdress that I certainly did not own.

I was standing on some kind of surface, but it was undeterminable thought the haze.

I was, at the moment, alone.

_First, I should find out if I am really asleep,_ I concurred. Grabbing my left arm, I pinched it hard. No result. It seemed I really was awake. I tried several more times, to be sure.

"Whatever do you hope to accomplish by doing that?" A pleasant voice behind me asked. With a shriek that, strangely enough, did not echo, I spun around. Sitting on the ground a few yards behind me was an elderly man, dressed in midnight blue robes and sporting a long white beard. He looked very pleased to see me there. He smiled politely and said, "If you were to wake yourself at this moment, it would be very hard for us to have a proper conversation. I must say, your brain has an ingenious knack of wakening you up at the worst possible moments."

The voice tingled in my memory, and I quickly exclaimed, "It's you! You've been haunting my dreams!" I paused, considering the first dream. "I thought you said it was not my time yet."

His smile sustained, but his eyes looked rather sad. "Come now, I wouldn't say I have been haunting you. In fact, I am interrupting your regular, nightmarish dreams. Might I add that they are satisfyingly accurate. And, to be clear, I had said at the time that you were not ready. Now, I think that time is remarkably close. But perhaps I should introduce myself. Will you please sit?"

I walked over to him cautiously, although I felt an inherent trust of him. Even before he sat, I had a feeling I knew who he was. As I sat down in the surprisingly comfortable nothingness, he extended a hand.

Grasping his hand, I said, "I am Lily Potter. The second." His smile was knowing.

In turn he replied, "I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The first." I sighed quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"What is troubling you, young Lily?"

I glanced up, seeing his blue eyes genuinely curious. "How did I die?" I whispered.

"My dear, you are most certainly not dead," he said, chuckling. His eyes twinkled merrily. "Although I understand your confusion. A young boy I once knew had a similar train of thought, and was just as confused as you are now."

"But…how can I be talking to you? You are dead. That man, Snape, he killed you." I avoided his first name, feeling uncomfortable saying it to the other man my brother was named for. He frowned. "As I often reminded your father, he should be called by his proper title of Professor Snape. But that is beside the point. As for our current communication…let's just say that we are at a crossroad. A gateway, if you will, between life and death."

"Like King's Cross Station?" I asked. He simply beamed.

"Indeed. You are undeniably your father's daughter. Although, permit me to say, you look remarkably like both of you grandmothers. Now, child, our time is short. I arranged this meeting so that we could speak freely of your father's near future, and your role in it."

"Why is my brother named for you and your killer?" I blurted, unable to hold in the question in any longer.

He frowned at me, but did not appear angry. Rather, I felt as though his bright blue eyes were looking into my soul.

"Always remember that the media rarely reports the truth, and, when it does so, it often misses significant facts. Although yes, Severus Snape produced the fatal curse, I assure you there is a great deal more to the story. But I shall let your father explain that to you when the time comes."

He glanced at a pocket watch. Craning my neck slightly, I saw that it had twelve hands and no numbers. It appeared to have stopped, although he still seemed to gather information from it. _How can he read a dead clock? _I wondered.

"Our time is even shorter than I realized. I must speak quickly. Lily, as you may realize, your father is suffering a great deal of pain. It was caused by a long and challenging childhood, which I unfortunately contributed to. Therefore, I owe it to your father to help alleviate that suffering. It is my belief that you are the one who can help him best right now. But in order to do that, you must understand. Somehow, you must convince your father to show you the Room and tell you about his past. Then, and only then, can you help him to recover."

I did not ask how he knew of the Room. "But…he doesn't want to show me yet. He said that I am his baby and he doesn't want to break my innocence. And my brother Al, he said not to pester Dad about it. How am I supposed to do something that nobody wants me to do? Sir?" I was greatly confused, and starting to panic. Time was indeed running out. I could feel my body struggling to wake.

"Lily," he said firmly, "You need to trust me. You can convince him to reveal the Room to you. You must be gentle with him, yet it must be done. But it must be done as quickly as possible. Then, and only then, can you understand how to help him."

The room started to fade.

"No, please explain to me. How can I help him? I don't want him to suffer any longer. What happened in his past?"

He gave me another sad smile, and waved goodbye.

"Good luck Lily. I have faith in you. When you understand the truth, we will meet again."

The room disappeared with a soft _click._


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: I start school tomorrow! Wish me luck! In the meantime, enjoy Chapter Nine. Harry's thoughts in the beginning (the italics…I hope that had been made clear by know that is what the chapter starters were about) go hand in hand with a short story I wrote recently called "Scars Run Deep." You should check it out. :) Also, this is a chapter of great revelations for Lily. Bear with her as she suffers some confusing thoughts and feelings. **

**Disclaimer: None of us own J.K. Rowling's characters and descriptions, except JKR herself. No matter what Miley Cyrus' hair looks like. **

Chapter 9

_He sat with his family, eating dinner and feeling peaceful. His two best friends, his lovely and expecting wife, his young son, and his godson were all present. Although the knock on the door was unexpected, he had an inkling as to who his visitor was. His best friend, one of his first companions in the wizarding world, followed him. His grim smile indicated the same feeling. Upon opening the door, he felt no shock at the strange visitor. Instead, he led him to the hallway outside his office. Before the guest had a chance to speak, the man of the house spoke. "I don't want your gold," he said quietly. The ginger looked confused, but the guest simply nodded. The words he followed with seemed to cause him great pain to say. "However, as I was raised in the world of wizards, I understand our debts better than you. We both know that I owe you a serious debt. And…I don't want my debt to be passed on to future generations." He looked terrified as he continued, "My wife… is with child. What do you want to pay the dues?" A hint of the old sneer returned as he finished, "And please, none of your Gryffindor nobility. I want this finished." The dark-haired Savior did not answer. He merely slipped into the office, emerging quickly to end the glares between the two old enemies. Handing the blonde a picture of a small family, two of the members with vibrantly colored hair, he whispered, "Raise him to know the truth. Raise him to know what the war meant, what it was about, and how it finished. Some children…don't have that advantage. Some grow up without parents to tell them the truth. Let him or her know—" The guest cut in almost inaudibly, "Him." "-that he can be in whatever House he wants to be in. His family's past does not matter. That…that t is all." Shaking slightly, and looking almost disappointed, the blonde Disapparted right from the hallway. Some may have called it rude, but the Savior knew he could not face the boy with the color-changing hair. It was then that he chose the name for his next son. It was an even trade. Slytherin and Gryffindor folk alike, acknowledging their similarities and differences. Old rivals, listening to the hat at last. Yet too late. _

My heart was racing even as I woke. Unlike the nightmare before it, which was now nothing more than a tickle in my memory, the dream was still frighteningly vivid in my mind. The words of Albus Dumbledore circled around me, seeming to flow in rhythm with my blood.

_"Somehow, you must convince your father to show you the Room and tell you about his past. Then, and only then, can you help him to recover."_

With a sigh, I pulled out Al's letter. It was a direct contradiction.

_"Don't do anything to upset him further, like pestering him about the room."_

_"He will show you when you are ready."_

It was almost as if he knew the dream was coming for me, and was trying to warn me against it. I could feel the letter accusing me, sensing that I sought to disobey it.

_Which Albus to believe? _

I could not move forward until I decided that.

Without knowing exactly what I was doing, I slowly dressed myself. Hearing the rain outside, I pulled on my rain-repelling boots and cloak. I slipped out of the house silently and walked down the path.

_What was I doing? Which was to go?_

_The graveyard. _

Still not fully understanding my actions, I began running.

The rain pounded with my heart.

I sprinted until I had crossed through the gate and reached the first row of headstones. Then I slowed again, trying to be respectful despite my racing mind and heart.

_Abbot. Isn't that Auntie Hannah's maiden name? _

I walked slowly among the aisles, wondering still what I searched for. It was early in the morning, and I appeared to be alone.

Occasional names seemed familiar, but I did not stop. My puzzling intuition told me to continue moving.

Turning into a row at random, I saw a shining white headstone on the end.

My skin tingled as I neared it. What was I doing in the graveyard anyway, on an early, raining morning?

A smile touched my lips as I saw someone had laid flowers in front of it. _Lilies. How lovely and how appropriate,_ I thought.

The smile quickly evaporated as saw the words.

I fell to my knees.

_Lily and James Potter._

_"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." _

"No…no…" My moan echoed against the wet gravestones. I was the only living soul in the entire graveyard. The implications of that did not set in until that moment.

"What happened?" The tears fell thick and fast as I stared at the words. A date of death, almost 40 years ago. They died on the same day. Performing a quick calculation, (_thank goodness for my basic Muggle math skills,_ I thought gravely) I realized my father was just a baby when they died.

"No!"

I was sobbing, confused beyond belief. _What happened? Why couldn't Dumbledore have told me?_

I remained there for quite some time, staring at the grave in shock. When the sky began to lighten, regardless of the still heavily falling rain, I stood to leave.

I took no particular path back, weaving through the graves at random. I did not stop until I was a few rows away from the entrance.

Turning slowly, I looked around.

The feeling of being watched had been prickling my neck ever since I left my grandparent's grave, but it was the whisper that gave me pause. I had heard someone speak behind me, I knew it.

But there was nobody there.

And I was still certain that I was the only living soul in the place.

My eyes slid to the grave directly in front of me, which I would have missed it I had not turned.

_"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."_

The name on the grave was Dumbledore. Although it was not Albus himself, I had the feeling that they were relatives of his.

The feeling of being watched was replaced with a stranger feeling.

I had been contacted by a dead man once again.

_"Good luck Lily. I have faith in you."_

A moment of clarity struck me. _The statue. _

I raced off once again.

CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9

How could I not have paid more attention to their faces before? The statue had been there all my life, nothing more to me than a reminder of the magic present in the village. I had never stopped to fathom its meaning, to examine it closely.

Like so many other things, I had taken it for granted.

The obelisk changed into its monument form as I neared it.

I did not pause as I reached the statue; I merely scrambled up the side.

The stone eyes stared at me as I gazed onto the adult's faces, then the face of the baby.

Although there was no inscription, I knew.

"James and Lily," I breathed.

Another realization hit me as I contemplated into their faces, and I took off running again.

CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 9

_"You are never to go down that road."_

It had been one of my mother's most strict rules, one that none of us ever considered breaking. Hugo had wanted to take me once, he said he had something to show me, but I had blatantly refused.

It seemed I would have to disobey many rules if I was to save my Dad.

Total ruin met my eyes.

The destroyed cottage was devastating to see, but I was somehow not surprised. Despite all my confusion, I was starting understand the beginning of the story.

Although I was uncertain if I should try to enter the house, I did not have to decide. The house decided for me. As I touched the gate, a sign rose before me, blocking the path.

The words were familiar, as I had read them in a book, but they resurfaced with a new clarity now. They had been disregarded in my mind, the work of fiction. Now they were the most important words I had ever read.

_On this spot, on the night of 31 October, 1981, Lily and James Potter lost their lives. Their son, Harry, remains the only wizard ever to have survived the Killing Curse. This house, invisible to Muggles, has been left in its ruined state as a monument to the Potters and as a reminder of the violence that tore apart their family._

Many people had written encouraging words to a certain Harry Potter on the sign.

I fell to my knees. The pain was overwhelming.

I knew nothing about my father.

He was a stranger to me, unwilling to trust me with any secrets.

He had almost died, as mere infant.

He had survived.

His parents were gone.

Who had raised him?

He did something major. Perhaps he even saved the world.

What had I accomplished in my life?

The part of my head that spoke in Albus' voice responded.

_You will do great things, Lily. It's just not your time yet. But you are getting ready, see? You are coming close to understanding. _

I was struck by the sudden awareness that those words could have come from either Albus.

The words of the letter floated to me once again.

_"He will show you when you are ready."_

Al said he would show me when I was ready. Well, I was certainly as ready as I ever would be.

Both of the men named Albus were right. It wasn't a matter of choosing one to follow over the other. They were both leading me the same way.

The rain continued to fall on my face as I contemplated all of this, lying on the muddy ground. I heard footsteps around me and looked around curiously.

"Hugo," I murmured as my cousin approached me.

Taking in my muddy clothes, tear streaked face, and shortness of breath, he looked frightened.

"I am going to get your mother."

_"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also," _I murmured.

The raindrops blurred my vision, but my path was still unmistakable.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: So sorry for the huge break, my first few weeks of school were very busy. Unfortunately, my workload will not be decreasing anytime soon (because, fortunately, I got a part in the play!) so my updates will be farther apart. However, we are nearing the end! Drop me a line and let me know how I am doing! **

**Disclaimer: If I was awesome enough to be the owner of this story, I would have enough money to have been able to fly to England and run into barriers at King's Cross yesterday. **

Chapter 10

_Pain coursed through his body. It did not stop. Every minute that passed worsened the struggle. He couldn't live without them anymore._

I saw my mother approaching from a distance, but I did not move from my spot on the ground. Hugo accompanied her, splashing through the puddles with his head ducked from the rain.

As she drew nearer, I felt a deep surge of guilt. Her face was marked by rain and tears alike, and anger and despair covering every inch of her flesh. I involuntarily curled into a tighter shape, scared of the words she would hit me with.

Yet the arms that wrapped around me were gentle, as my mother picked me up wordlessly. Her face was a mask of anguish.

She trudged slowly down the length of the street before she said anything.

"You are going to Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione's house. They are going to babysit you for the day."

My heart dropped like a stone. "What happened to Daddy?" I asked, feeling a rush of fear.

Her response was short. "He is very sick."

My tears fell afresh. It was no wonder she looked so distressed, I ran away from home on a bad morning for Dad. _It must be really bad, if she is sending me away,_ I thought shamefully. A cough racked my body as I cried. I felt very cold.

I heard Hugo splash up alongside us, and I turned my face to look at him. He looked very pale.

"Cheer up," I murmured, "You get to spend the whole day with me."

He gave me a concerned look. "Lily…you don't look so good…"

A moment later I was on the ground again, retching and coughing.

My mom's cool hands felt my forehead. "She's burning up," she murmured quietly, "We'd better hurry."

I saw her clasp Hugo's hand as she turned on the spot, bringing the crushing darkness around me.

CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10

I was lying on a warm, dry couch. Although my eyes were closed, I felt safe. The room felt familiar. _Could I have returned to the station to talk to Dumbledore already?_

Disappointment flooded my heart as my eyes snapped open. I was lying on the couch in Hermione's and Ron's sitting room. Seeing my eyes open, Ron came across the room and sat on the floor beside the couch. I saw Hugo sitting in the corner, eyes closed as though he was deep in thought.

"Hey, Lily-bear."

"Hey, Uncle Ron…What happened?"

He sighed, pushing my damp hair out of my face.

"Well, your Dad wasn't having the best morning when he woke up. So he decided not to go to work. Your mum went to wake you up and bring you over here for the day, but you weren't in your bed. She came here to look for you, but we didn't know where you were either. We all went out to look. Hugo eventually found you…on the ground outside the monument house. While your mother was bringing you back here, you got sick. You were running a slight fever. She Apparated here so she could get you inside faster, but you feel unconscious during the trip. Once we made sure you were okay, she and Hermione went to take carry of Harry. I stayed here to watch you."

His eyes widened in shock as I jumped to my feet, swaying slightly from the sudden movement. "What are you doing?" He asked nervously. "I have to go see my Dad," I replied firmly.

"No," he replied, voice just as firm. He gently guided me back to the couch. "You can go see him in a bit. You have to rest first."

I huffed an angry breath, seeing no way to escape the situation. I closed my eyes quickly, hoping he would think I fell asleep. He chuckled humorlessly.

But before I knew it, I really was drifting off, the long morning finally catching up with me.

I was in a strange state as I heard the voice, half asleep and half awake.

"_Lily, you must understand. He must explain the whole story for you. You learned a great deal today, but he needs to tell you everything. You need to get back to your house. Now, while he is most vulnerable, he needs to tell the truth. He has been hiding it all too long and it is eating him up. If you don't do something soon, he might try to end the pain. Only an unbelievable about of bravery has kept him safe thus far. You must be brave too, be brave for him. I have faith in you. We all have faith in you. Go find your father." _

I had barely rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before I was out the door, Uncle Ron and Hugo obliviously sleeping in the living room.

CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10

Hermione screamed softly as she stepped out of the Room, nearly running into me in my place outside the door.

"Lily," she hissed, "What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay with Ron."

"I need to see my Dad," I stated calmly.

"You can't."

"I need to see him. Now. I can't help him if I don't know the truth."

Her expression softened slightly. "Lily…you can't help him. It's something he needs to go through by himself. None of us can help him."

I sighed, exasperated. "You will never believe this, but Albus, Albus Dumbledore that is, visited me in a dream. I need to learn the truth about the Room."

An awkward pause followed, and I worried she would call me crazy. But then, something in her expression changed. I hadn't thought she would believe me, but I could see it in her eyes. She _did _believe me. I wondered if she, too, had visited the station in her dreams.

"I'll get your mother," she said quietly.

CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 10

I felt a true, deep fear clench my heart as I saw my mother's face. She looked simply awful, anguished and ridden with hopelessness. As Aunt Hermione guided her from the Room, nodding me in, I realized I didn't want to go. I was afraid. I wanted to help my mother instead, let the adults take care of my father. Hermione seemed to see it in my face, and told me in a soothing voice, "She is distressed to see Harry like this. You can help her by helping him. Go now. It is your time."

I shivered slightly at the words. Wondering what my brothers would think if they could see me, I pushed open the door to the Room. _The Room of Death_, James called it. I couldn't let it literally become that.

Tears struck my eyes as my footsteps creaked the floorboards.

Although I had been expecting it, seeing the broken man curled on the floor was still painful. _Daddy_, I thought. I may have said it aloud, but I wasn't sure. He did not move to acknowledge the living presence.

As I sat on the floor beside him, I took in my first real look at the room. I immediately knew I had seen it before, in several of my nightmares.

There was no furniture in the Room, save for a small wooden desk. Sitting upon the desk was the photo album of my grandparents, along with several other albums, stacks of pictures, and countless letters. Simple wooden boards covered the floor, as though the person sitting upon it did not need physical comforts. Three of the four walls were bare, plain and colorless.

The fourth wall, which had the wooden desk against it, was covered in picture frames.

Gazing down on us from the walls were countless people, all of their eyes flickering between my Dad and I.

Some of the faces I recognized, such as Dad's parents and Uncle George's twin. Others I did not recognize at all, but I felt a draw to each of them. _Could the lady with pink hair be Teddy's mother…? _I felt a small shock as I noticed one picture, slightly separate from the others, was Minerva McGonagall. I found myself searching their faces hungrily, wanting to know each of them personally.

Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation. It was as though there was a slight disturbance in the room, as though there were _people_ in the small space. People besides my Dad and myself. I couldn't see them, but I could feel their presence, the silent voices encouraging me. The voice at my cousins' house had said _"We all have faith in you."_ Gazing across the pictures, my eyes locked on a pair of vivid blue ones. Although the picture could not talk, I could feel his words reverberating through my body. _"It is my belief that you are the one who can help him best right now… you must convince your father to show you the Room __**and tell you about his past**__."_

I slowly approached the damaged person on the floor, sitting down beside him quietly.

"Daddy…Daddy, tell me what happened. What happened to them?" My voice dropped lower as he remained motionless. "Please Daddy, just tell me the truth."

He shook slightly, choking as though he could not say the words. I gave him plenty of time, waiting for him to gain some composure. Eventually he sat up, facing the wall as I did. I looked at him sideways, but he did not meet my gaze. His eyes were pink and puffy, mere slits on the twisted face.

"Lily…" he began, voice rasping and breaking. He swallowed, and then started again. "Lily, meet James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Cedric, Severus, Fred, Dobby, Hedwig, Dumbledore, Mad-Eye, Colin, and Lavender." He paused for a moment, but I could see he was not finished. Pointing at a small photograph lower on the wall, containing four people, he finished in a pained voice, "And Peter."

A droplet of blood dripped down his face, mingling with tear. Surprised, my eyes traveled up to his forehead. His scar was flaming red, dripping blood as though it had been carved into his head again, or as if someone tried to scratch it off. "And they're all dead because of me," he whispered in a hollow voice.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: How did it get to be the end of September?! Where did the time go? Please forgive me, my dear readers. It was not my intention to leave you for such a long period of time. I thought of you often, even though I was unable to update my story. Here is Chapter 11 for you. I sense we are nearing the end.**

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the owner of all proper nouns. **

Chapter 11

_Words coursed through his head in an endless stream of confusion. One phrase kept returning, in the soft, familiar voice of his late mentor. "Lily is the best hope you have. Trust her." _

He held up a hand to silence me as I tried to interrupt. I knew what he was saying could not be true; he could not have been the cause of their deaths. But it seemed as though he needed to keep talking now that he had started.

"It all started with a boy named Tom Riddle. His story goes generations back, but my story starts with him.

"He grew up in a Muggle orphanage, where he was a friendless bully. All bullies are secretly friendless and alone, Lily. When he was eleven, he found out he was a wizard. A man named Albus Dumbledore came to explain this secret to him. After that, he went to Hogwarts. Hogwarts…it was the only place that was ever truly home to him.

"He…he was a bad person, Lily. I won't tell you all of the awful things he did during his time at Hogwarts and after. He did not make good choices. Tom Riddle disappeared, bringing to life a new, evil creature called Lord Voldemort."

There was a long silence, as my heart beat incredibly fast. I did not want to hear the rest of story. But I needed to hear it. It was what Professor Dumbledore wanted, for my dad and for me.

"He…"

Daddy's breathing hitched and I saw his chest rise and fall rapidly. The tears welled up in his eyes, yet I saw the determination in his eyes to fight them. He continued in a strained whisper.

"He killed my parents when I was a baby. Lily and James Potter. Then, he tried to kill me. It didn't work. I was left alive as he was…destroyed. To some extent. But his attempt left its mark forever."

He pointed to his forehead, still slowly dripping blood.

"It changed me. It left me marked."

I now understood why the skin appeared inflamed. The mark had changed him. It was a symbol of the horrors in his life. He had sat in the Room, tracing over it again and again, scratching at it as though he could make it disappear, and imagining what his life would have been like without it. Imagining life as an unmarked man.

"I grew up with my Aunt Petunia, my mum's sister. She was married to a nasty man named Vernon Dursley…they had a son named Dudley, whom you have met on a few occasions."

I shivered, scared by the hard look in Daddy's eyes as he talked about his childhood.

"It wasn't a pleasant experience. My aunt and uncle knew about my magic, although they were both Muggles, and kept it a secret from me. They hated everything to do with magic. They also refused to tell me anything about my parents. But they couldn't keep it a secret forever.

"They wrote to me, shortly before I turned eleven. Hogwarts wrote to me. The Dursleys tried to prevent me from reading my letter."

I couldn't restrain a gasp. _The injustice of it! A child having their letter withheld from them!_

"On my eleventh birthday, Hagrid came to me."

A beautiful smile graced his saddened face, a smile of friendship, memories, and change. I too, smiled, feeling a special warmth as I understood the special connection between my family and Hagrid.

For the next two hours, I listened to my dad talk. He spoke of his journey to Hogwarts, of making friends and enemies, and of his struggles with his unwanted fame.

I certainly hoped my years at Hogwarts were less dramatic than his were.

As the story continued, little pieces of information came up to fill in what had been unclear before. I learned of Sirius Black and of Teddy's father, Remus Lupin. I learned who Cedric Diggory was, and I suspected his death was the true beginning Daddy's sickness.

After a time, I closed my eyes and let the story live in my mind. I was there in the graveyard, holding onto the shaking wand. I was fighting the dementors, fighting Umbridge, fighting the Death Eaters.

I was listening to the prophecy.

"'_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ...'_

"This was the reason he had set out to kill me. He thought that I would have the power to kill him off. Dumbledore would have told you that he was right, and that I did have that power. It was the power of love. But I know he wasn't completely right on that one. It wasn't the fact that I could love; it was that the people around me could love. Could I have defeated him if my parents didn't love me enough to die for me? If Petunia didn't hold enough love for her late sister to take in her son? If Ron didn't love me enough to go running after the girl he hated to save her from a troll? If Hermione didn't love house elves so much to go visit them in the kitchen, thus finding Dobby and bringing him back into my life?"

The fifth year ended in pain, yet the start to the sixth was fairly calm. I felt a kind of peace as I watched the story inside my head.

I was watching a certain Ginny Weasley.

I was stalking Draco Malfoy.

I felt incredible guilt as I watched Draco, tears still fresh on his face, lying in a pool of blood that I had drawn from his body.

Horcruxes.

Potion.

Locket.

Inferi.

Dark Mark.

Tower.

Dumbledore.

Snape.

Snape, Snape killed…

"No…"

The moan that escaped my father's lips tore through my body once again. Dumbledore, falling, gone, leaving Harry behind forever.

He sobbed with abandon. I could feel his loneliness as the fatherly figure fell from the tower, the anger as he ran after Snape.

Snape…

"No…You see…Dumbledore and Snape had planned it. Dumbledore was sick even before the potion, as I told you. So he and Snape made a plan that, when the time came, Snape would do it. To protect Draco."

I stared at the wall, searching for the piercing blue eyes. When I found the picture, I realized he was purposely avoiding my eyes.

"How could you do that to him?" I whispered to the old man as my father cried. He shook his head sadly, then gazed at my dad with a deep kind of parental love and care. His eyes pleaded with me, begged me to help him.

"Go on Daddy," I encouraged softly.

I reentered the story, feeling more deeply involved than I had before.

_Seven Harry Potters gazed back at him. Didn't they understand the level of horror he felt towards himself, knowing they were risking their lives for him?_

_George, bleeding in Remus' arms._

_Mad-Eye Moody, gone forever._

_Frustration at being stuck in the Burrow, cleaning instead of making plans. Frustration every time he saw Ginny and knew that he couldn't take her into his arms. _

_The flight, the fight, and flight once more. The defenses against Snape. Infiltrating the Ministry. _

The next part of the story seems to pass by in a flash. I wondered if he was skipping over details and generalizing the story, trying to prevent me from feeling the level of pain that he did.

_Months pass._

_Ron leaves._

_Constant pain._

_Hermione, heartbroken._

_Godric's Hollow. _

_The doe._

_Ron's return._

_The Deathly Hallows. _

It was at this point in the story that neither of us could take it anymore. There was still pain in his eyes, but it seemed to have lessened considerably.

"Oh, Lily," he said softly, "You don't know how much I hate myself for putting you through this."

I sat up slowly as I awoke from the kind of stupor I had been in, trapped in the world of the three brothers.

He carefully put his arms around me, and I fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.

**Author's Note: That's all for today folks! Again, I am incredibly sorry for the wait. Hopefully I will be able to get up the next chapter within the week. Drop me a line and let me know how I am doing!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Oh dear…I've done it again. Darn you, school. You take up too much of my life. Only a few more chapters to go! Thank the snow for giving me break enough from exam studying to finally finish this chapter. Please review. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter STILL does not belong to me. Sad day. **

Chapter 12

_His daughter's breathing slowed to a steady melody within his arms. He used to think that it was all about her, Albus, and James. Making them happy. Giving them the best life he could. He thought his own case was hopeless. But now, listening to her peaceful snores, he began to realize something. He could only ensure their true happiness by accepting his own, which was hidden beneath the pain. The tune of her breathing carried him off to sleep._

My eyes snapped open. It felt as though I had merely blinked, rather than falling fast asleep as I knew I had. My surroundings were no surprise to me.

I was back at the train station of my dream. But this time, I was in my sleeping father's arms.

I glanced up as Albus Dumbledore approached us through the mist. "Well, my young friend. You appear to be much calmer than the last time I saw you," he said with a smile. I noted with slight jealously the extreme affection in his expression as he gazed at my dad's sleeping face. If he loved my father so much, why couldn't he do more to help him?

I nodded serenely. "Yes, I think I see where this plan ends now. But I must confess, I am confused as to why you brought my dad with me. Was it an accident?"

Dumbledore frowned, clearly confused by my response. "Ah, Lily, I am afraid then that you do not understand the, as you have so aptly phrased it, 'plan,' for if you did, you would know why your father is here. Although I must admit that, brilliant as this plan is, I cannot take the credit that you give me for it. This is not my plan. I am merely a piece of it."

I frowned back at him. "Please explain."

As he spoke, I saw figures taking shape in the fog behind him. I did not interrupt to question who they were. It seemed as though he was expecting them.

"In a few moments you will wake up, back in the real world. Your father will remain here, 'asleep.' We will keep him here, distracting him long enough for you to finish your task…Your task is an unusual one. It may seem to you like it won't do much good. But it's only the way to truly start his recovery; he will have to be willing to continue on from there."

"But what…" I said, trailing off as my eyes met the pair of one of the forming figures. He did not turn, but I saw deep understanding in the vibrant blue eyes. He knew I had seen her.

"I will give you a hint. We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."

"What does that mean?"

"Lily, surely you realize what you have done for your father tonight? You have provided the single most important element for his recovery. The reason to fight. His children. His family. But the problem is, there is still a strong force opposing his recovery. His reason to fight is the same as his desire to give up. He needs to understand that it is too late for some of his family."

I gasped. "The Room. The Room is hurting him more and more, surrounding him with all of the awful memories at once. If the elements of the Room were divided, they would have less power over him."

The late professor looked delighted at having a pupil discover the answer to his plan. Or maybe it wasn't his plan, as he wanted me to believe. "Very good," he said. Then, extending a hand toward me, he said "I would like you to meet some people." Seizing his hand, which was thankfully substantial and surprisingly strong, I left my father's arms. He continued to rest peaceful.

I slowly approached the figure that I had been making eye contact with. She approached me too, with the same kind of fearful curiosity.

"Your time is short, Lily," Dumbledore said softly, "But you have time for a short meeting with some important people. Lily, meet Lily."

I cautiously extended my hand toward the woman. She mirrored my actions. The second our fingers brushed the other's, she grabbed me and clutched me in a close hug.

"You have been so brave dear. You have done a better job taking care of him in nine years of childhood than I did in my one year of motherhood."

Tears struck my eyes at these words.

Soon I was being smothered with handshakes, kisses, and hugs.

One couple waited behind the small crowd for a bit, coming forward to meet me hand in hand with one another. The lady had vivid pink hair.

"Are…are you Teddy's parents?" I asked shyly.

The woman that I knew to be Tonks smiled vibrantly at me. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance, Lily junior." She too pulled me in for a hug.

Her husband, whom I had heard was called Remus, smiled at her lovingly. He looked much younger than most of the pictures of him I saw from my brief visit to the room; he most closely resembled the teenager in the Hogwarts picture.

I was passed around from arm to arm, meeting numerous people that all had a picture in the Room. Only two were absent from the scene: the short, chubby boy from the Hogwarts picture and the dark-cloaked man my dad had called Severus. However, as I moved from Lavender to Fred, I caught a glimpse of black fabric wiping through the mist. It seemed as though Severus had arrived with the group, and simply chose not to meet me.

Finally, after hugging Tonks for the eighth time, Dumbledore grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the throngs of admirers. I appreciated being rescued. I was certainly thrilled to meet all of them, but the burden of what I was soon to do was starting to scare me. They were all so obsessed with my father's happiness…I could feel the pressure of the hopes of a dozen late people on my shoulders.

"One more," he murmured to me.

I felt the others grow silent and inch away as the man in the black cloak approached me.

As he drew up to me, Dumbledore patted my back and trotted over to Remus absentmindedly. I started to crane my neck to see the man's face, but much to my surprise, he knelt down to my level.

"Hello, Lily," he murmured quietly.

"Hello, Sir."

I saw a flicker of something in his eyes, an emotion that was clearly a struggle to keep restrained. Was it amusement?

"You certainly have better manners that those of your parents."

He fell silent and stared into my eyes, seeming almost disappointed by what he saw there.

"Lily…to be frank, I do not like your father. I find him to be as arrogant and obnoxious in adulthood as he was in childhood. But…he has a good heart. You are lucky to have inherited that quality from him. I made a vow in life to would protect him, and that responsibility still stands."

I frowned, feeling a strange sense of pity for the man. "Aren't you realized from those obligations in death?"

"I made a vow to protect him. Always."

A shiver passed through my body. The weight of his words was incredible.

"Lily! Come quickly!" Dumbledore's voice carried across the misty room. I ran over to him, feeling Severus' eyes on my back.

"He is waking into this realm. You must leave as soon as his eyes open, you cannot both be present here at once."

I frowned, slightly uncertain as to what I needed to do next.

"Tell me what to do. Please."

"Call his name."

I knelt before him and softly called, "Daddy…"

His eyes fluttered as the world flickered. I needed to go complete my mission.

Just as the dream faded out, my eyes met Severus' once more. I could see many layers of pain and emotion present, perhaps more than I could ever understand. His words rang in my ears as I blinked awake.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Wow. This chapter…I didn't know what was going to happen when I started writing, honestly, the plot wrote itself as I typed the words. Please review and let me know how it worked. Only a few chapters left, although I'm not positive how many. At the most, three, at the least, one. Merry early Christmas, updating within a week of the last one! J**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. I'm not so sure that chapter is either; I have no idea where it came from. **

Chapter 13

_"Daddy," the soft voice of his daughter spoke, waking him from his slumber. He stirred slightly, but was unwilling to open his eyes. His curiosity struck him as there was a rush of cool breeze before him, as though some small soul had flown past him. Yet he kept his eyes closed. He felt much safer, much more comfortable with his eyes closed. Opening his eyes would return him to the pain of living, the pain of constant fighting. "Wake up Harry. Mommy's here for you," a nearby voice sang. His heart sped, recognizing the voice that he had heard last in the Forbidden Forest, shortly before his death. Barely believing it could be her, he opened his eyes and whispered, "Mom?"_

"Mom!" I cried the moment my eyes opened.

Rubbing away the spots that danced before my eyes, I looked around the Room. I was still in my father's arms, in the exact position we had entered the dream in. Gently pushing myself out from his grip, I rose and faced the door. I walked slowly toward it and seized the handle, knowing I needed the help of the people waiting behind it.

There was little light coming into the hallway. Eyeing the rain-streaked window, it was impossible to tell what time of day it was. I had no idea how much time had passed since I had first entered the Room.

"Mom…Aunt Hermione?" I called tentatively as the floor creaked under my feet. Gliding down the darkened hallway, I found the two sitting against the wall, my mom's head on Hermione's shoulder. They appeared to be sleeping. I cautiously stepped toward them.

"Mom," I whispered. Her head moved slightly, and I saw her eyes open a crack. "I need your help."

**CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13**

Hermione went home. Mum told her it was our job; we needed to do it alone. I could tell she wanted to help; she had been my dad's best friend as a kid. He was as important as family to her. But my mom told her it was our job; we were the ones that needed to live here.

It took a few hours to accomplish our mission.

First, we removed all of the pictures from the wall and spread them to different rooms. On one wall in my parents' bedroom, we hung a picture of his parents and of his dad's friends. Most of the other pictures went in the living room and the kitchen, but we were sure to spread them out. _Remove their power_, I thought to myself.

We moved the photo albums and the letters too, finding new, separate homes for each. The desk was relocated to storage, having no particular meaning besides having lived in the Room for years.

All the while, my dad slept peacefully on the floor of the Room. A small smile had touched his lips. He was home at last, with his late family.

Next, we cleaned.

I started to feel a sinking dread as we cleaned the blood that had dripped from his head onto the floor. As my mom talked about filling in the holes from where the pictures had hung, I closed my eyes.

_The elements of the room aren't as strong when they are divided. But the elements themselves are just memories of the actual people. Right now, as we are taking time to clean up the remnants of the memories…we are allowing him to create new memories. Which means he will be even worse when he comes back. He will have lost them all over again, and will have that memory to live with._

_I have to get him out of there._

"Mom," I said suddenly, my eyes instantly open.

"-And we might have some paint to go over it then-"

"Mom."

"Yes dear?"

"I have to go back."

"What? Don't be silly. We have to finish up here first, then you can bring him back."

"No, Mum. If I don't bring him back soon…he won't want to leave. He'll choose to stay there."

"That's ridiculous, dear. He isn't being offered a choice this time; you said it was a different situation. You said they were just distracting him until we were finished."

I felt a certainty that what I was saying was right. A whisper in my head kept my confidence up, although I was unsure if it was my subconscious or Dumbledore speaking.

"No," I said, voice dropping to a whisper, "It's always a choice. That's why he's been having such a hard time lately. Every moment of every day, he was making the choice to stay with us, rather than go to them. He thought that setting up the Room would be enough, he could have his time with them and his time with us. But it was just a constant reminder of how much he missed them.

"When he left the Room, he got to be with us. That was enough to keep him fighting. Now, he left us and got to be with them. It's enough to stop him from fighting. We need to get him out of there before he makes a new choice."

"But I thought you couldn't both be there at once?"

I sighed sadly. "He is losing his will. Which makes him more there, and less here. I'll be able to get in too. But that isn't a good thing in this case."

Her eyes flashed with tears. She understood now, understood what I had been struggling to understand since the first time I met Dumbledore.

There was always a choice. A choice every day, to live or to die.

Being with them again would make him reconsider his choice.

I had to stop Dad from changing his mind. He needed to understand which of his families still needed him.

The Boy Who Lived could not die today.

**CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 13**

_"Hello Lily."_

The voice ran through my head with kindness and concern.

_"Hello, Professor."_

_"I take it you have realized the potential for flaw in this plan?"_

I couldn't see him. I couldn't see anything. I had laid down in the Room with the intention of returning to the dream, but I couldn't seem to get through all the way. Yet I couldn't get back out, I couldn't wake back up.

_"Yes. But I thought, because he was giving up, I'd be able to get back in. But I feel as though I am suspended, stuck between the realms."_

"Really? I can see you just fine, as though you are here. Find the will, Lily. It's all about the fight. You should have been learning this from your father for years."

These words reached my brain through my ears, instead of reverberating directly into my head as they had before. I fought to concentrate on my eyes and was surprised to find them opening with ease.

Blinking, I saw five adults standing around me. Dumbledore stood directly at my feet, with Remus and Sirius on one side and Lily and James on the other. None of them spoke, but watched me with apprehension.

"Well? What do I do now?" I demanded.

Sirius smiled sadly. "It's all up to him now. There's very little you can do at this point."

Flying to my feet, I stamped my foot in frustration. "But I did everything you asked me to! You!" I shouted, pointing at Dumbledore. "You told me to divide the elements, and he'd get better! You said I was the only one that could fix it!"

Much to my anger, I saw the adults smiling at one another.

"She is just like you, love," James said to Lily with affection, "A real fiery temper."

"No," Sirius said, grinning at Remus with sparkling eyes, "She is just like Harry. Remember? '_If Voldemort is raising an army, then I want to fight!' _He was never afraid to fight with authority."

"Don't any of you care? Don't you want him to _live_?" I shouted, tears streaming out of my eyes.

Dumbledore silenced the others with a glare.

"Of course we care. We care so much, my darling Lily, that we are here. You addressed the topic yourself, to Professor Snape. You asked him why he wasn't released from his lifetime promises in death. He left out an important point in his answer. It isn't a matter of being able to be released by the one you swore it to. It is a matter of what your _heart _commands you to do.

"Why do you think Lily and James are still here, in this, for lack of a better word, 'realm'? Why are they still here in this state of being? They died the longest ago. You would think they would be able to move on completely. Yet they are held here, where they are able to keep a closer watch on the mortal world. And why? They are not being held against their will. It's just what their hearts tell them.

"Long ago, there was a prophecy made about your father. It said 'neither can live while the other survives.' He wanted to set too much in store by it; he thought it meant he _had _to kill the other person it referred to. But that notion was incorrect. The prophecy stated that because it is what he would have chosen to do, having heard the prophecy or not. He would not be held to it by anyone but his heart.

"So you cannot accuse these people of not caring. They have so much care within their hearts that it prevents them from dying peacefully, it actually holds them here. They care so deeply that it is like an eternal promise."

I sat in stunned silence, surprised to hear him speak in such a way. "I…I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

He smiled sadly. "Didn't you understand what I just said? Lily, you don't _have _to do anything. It's just a matter of the fact that you _will_. You won't stop until you've done all in your power to help your father recover."

"Then…what more can I do?"

Remus took my hand. "That's the point, child. You cannot do any more. Your wonderful mother is at your home right now, trying to transform that horrible room into something that holds no more painful memories. Once that is done, there is nothing either of you can do more than you have already done. You've provided all you can. He just has to make the right decision now."

I looked from face to face, a chill of hopelessness creeping up my spine. "But…how do I know he will decide life? Where is he? Can I talk to him? He hasn't already decided, has he?"

Sirius gently grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.

My dad was lying on the ground.

His eyes were closed.

My heart stopped.

But he had just fallen back asleep.

"But…but…"

Lily bent down and whispered in my ear.

"When you reappeared here, but before you had fully woken, he panicked. He realized the implications of you waking while he was here. He knew it would have meant his heart had surrendered; two living beings cannot exist here at once. He took action immediately, fought harder within his heart than he ever had before. Fought to make sure it wouldn't surrender. He said his goodbyes and returned to sleep. That was what allowed you to fully wake."

"He didn't even think about it. You had already convinced him," James whispered, tears running down his cheek.

"You've been so brave," Sirius murmured, "But understand there's still fight to come. Understand that the choice will always be there. Don't worry though. You've already reached the bottom; it can only go up from here."

I sat in silence, uncertain of what to say as I processed the information. "So… it really wasn't a matter of my fighting to open my eyes then, I was just waiting for him to go back to sleep. There was no need to lecture me on it," I grumbled at Dumbledore.

He merely smiled. "A prime teaching opportunity can never be passed up."

"How do I get us back?" I asked with apprehension.

"You have to say your goodbyes first," a voice behind me spoke. I turned to see Tonks, grinning with her arms held open.

I faced Dumbledore first, staring into his damp, twinkling eyes. "Thank you for telling me what to do."

"I did nothing whatsoever. Your heart knew all along."


	14. Epilogue

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh my goodness gracious. I am so incredibly sorry. I'm not sure how long it has been since my last update…I don't really want to check. I know it has been several long, busy, exhausting months. But the good news is, you don't have to wait on me for any new updates after this. Last one. Aww…that actually makes me kind of sad. After reviewing my previous chapters, I have determined that this is an epilogue more than anything (so the story had 13 chapters…my favorite number). After this, I think I have proven that I'm far too busy during the school year to write, so it won't be until next summer that I write fanfiction again. Feel free to leave me nice reviews though! J Thank you for being a fantastic audience, and bear with me as I struggle with my greatest fear: writing conclusions. **

**DISCLAIMER: Who can say, really, that I don't own a piece Harry Potter? He is a part of my heart and my life. Yet the originality of the characters, names, and major events, alas, belong to J.K. Rowling. **

**EPILOGUE**

_He gazed around the room where his family had once been embalmed. It had changed drastically. Gone was the pain, the most grievous memories, and the dead eyes. No, his old family had been released from the Room of Death, and given new life around the house, where they lived freely among the living. He could feel their presence constantly, but it was no longer compressed and painful. Instead, he could feel them rejoicing alongside him, as real as they were in the dreamlike state. He needed them in his life, as much as he needed his wife, best friends, and children. After his return, his beautiful wife spoke with him in soft tones about the room. _What would he like to do with it? _But it was perfect to him the way it was, empty and free of the pain. Scrubbed clean, shinning like the smile on his face. Someday, perhaps, he would convert it into a guest bedroom. Perhaps Teddy, or his (hopefully) very distant grandchildren, could stay in the room. But in that moment, it stood to show his new start. Inside and out. _

_2 years later_

I clutched my Dad's hand nervously as we made our way across the station. He smiled down at me, and I could tell he was glad I still needed him as much as he needed me. He squeezed mine reassuringly in return, and I could feel strength surging into me that I used to have to give to him.

As we approached the brick wall, we pulled to a stop. Mum had chased the boys through the wall several minutes earlier, attempting to embarrass them in retribution for terrorizing me about Houses and difficult classes. I had stayed back with Dad, enjoying my last few moments as part of the non-magic world.

Dad crouched down onto my level, staring me straight in the eyes. "You aren't going to beg me to tell you that you won't be in Slytherin, are you?" His eyes shone pleasantly, recalling the similar situation from years earlier.

I grinned back. "No, Daddy, you'd just tell me the same thing I overheard you telling Al two years ago."

"You bad girl," he said with a grin.

"I don't care, anyways."

He looked at me quizzically. "Not in the least?"

I sighed, thinking over my carefully prepared answer. "The only reason I'd prefer one over the other is because all of the family is in Gryffindor. But I would be okay otherwise. I could start my own legacy in a new house. All that is important is that I can be happy wherever I am, and whoever I am with," I said, with a knowing look. "Right Dad?"

His eyes glistened with tears. "Lily-bear," he said with sadness, "I am so very sorry for the hurt I caused this family. But please, don't worry about me. I am better now, I truly am." He pulled me in for a crushing hug. "I'm so sorry," he murmured.

Pulling back from the hug to look into his eyes, I whispered in response, "It is very much okay, Dad. The weight of the world is a lot to bear. Everyone needs a break sometime."

"That sounds like something your mother would say."

I grinned. "She did, one time after I asked about the Room."

Gazing at the barrier with a hint of jealousy, he said, "Whether you like it or not, Lil, you'll be in Gryffindor. You're far to brave for any other house."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good, that's actually what I really wanted. I just planned that speech to motivate you."

Rumpling my hair, he whispered in reply, so quietly that I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it, "I know."

Grabbing my hand as he stood, we walked toward the brick wall together, ready to face my future.


End file.
